Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
