Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize