that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
