You really coming over, don't trick.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
