best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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