In America we eat man semen.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
And then he peed in my hair
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