Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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