did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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