If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
