my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
