Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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