end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
