Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
