The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
