SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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