Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize