Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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