Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
