Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
