She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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