I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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