I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize