She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
