we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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