Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
