Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
