Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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