Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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