if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
