and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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