I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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