and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize