you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
