how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
