i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
