i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
