its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
