this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
