i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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