never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
