You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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