am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize