on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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