That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
