Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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