She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
