This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
