I think i peed on brittanys purse
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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