I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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