Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
