If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
