So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize