I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Randomize
