walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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