I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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