Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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