party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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