So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
