who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
