I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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