I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize