it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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