I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize