I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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